Praise is a wonderfully meaningful thing that parents can give to their children. However, sometimes when we don’t get the response we were expecting (a smile or a recognition of any kind) we stop giving it as often/at all. Don’t let a cold or indifferent response stop you from praising your child. As a child therapist, I see and hear children yearning for praise from their parents everyday. A child recently shared with me how hurt he was when his parent lauded over his sister’s improvement in school and then turned to him and said “you’re making progress”. He needed more, even though he’d never ask for it. This is just one example of many.

Two rules to keep in mind.
Rule 1: When you give praise to your child, don’t expect that the praise will be received in the way you hoped. Recognize that it’s being absorbed regardless and allow it to sit, without further discussion if not welcomed by your child. Think of it as something being stored in the bank for later.

Rule 2: Don’t push for a response. If you push for a response that indicates he/she “really believes/accepts it”, then you’ll end up changing the initial intent (praise), and instead shift to a discussion on why he/she can’t accept praise (no longer feels good and refocuses on the negative). You’ll also likely appear annoyed, mad, or hurt, which again has a much different effect than initially intended.