It is important to allow your child to be curious, even if it means you have to slow down and let them look in the windows every other block. Be patient (you’re grimmacing as you read this i’m sure. Easier said than done. Youre right, but keep reading). Join them in their curiosity (“that girl on the rock wall is climbing really high…I bet you’d love to do that”). Then gently make a transition statement like,” I’m getting tired…I can’t wait to get back to the office/home and get some cold water”. This suggestion is not a demand. It’s not a statement that will make a child feel forced to switch more quickly than they’re comfortable with (“Come on. Let’s go”) or disregard your directive. It’s sometimes just enough to get them to listen, perspective take, and hopefully move on. It’s likely they would do this anyway after getting bored of whatever initially drew them in.”Sometimes” is the operative word here. I’m not claiming this as an absolute solution. As you all know, nothing is. Even things that work today may not work tomorrow or mayber even that evening. I’m simply saying that language matters and it’s worth reflecting on the way you use it with your child.

What I see often happens is that a demanding statement like, “Come on. Let’s go”, turns into a power struggle. As a parent, you have now made a statement, which if not listened to, requires you to at very least restate and at most enforce. At this point, your child, especially those children who feel the need to take control at all costs, has the opportunity to disobey (ignore, say “no”). Why put yourself in this position? Why open the opportunity for a power struggle? Choose your language wisely and you will find that you frequently avoid power struggling and invariably help your child develop more of an ability to empathize, take perspective, and cooperate.

Here is an interesting article about the power of word choice with kids: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/04/30/308045913/to-get-help-from-a-little-kid-ask-the-right-way